InZaneity
by mellimon
Summary: Just a few Jo/Zane shots.  Ranging one to two from episode to episode with different ratings.  With the highest rating at T.  But I could be wrong so READ at you own DISCRETION!  Summaries are inside.
1. InZaneity

Hi. Here are a few short drabbles I've wrote since the airing of Season 4 of Eureka, which I don't own by the way! And only now am I starting to post them. Reviews would be nice, please?

And this was written after the airing of Space Week, I think. I had so much _hope _ after this episode.

Summary: Zane has a theory.

In-Zane-ity

Zane has got a _theory_.

And that means something not just speculation or flimsy _hypothesis_ (commonly _mistaken_ as synonyms). This _scientist_ has-well _had_ a working theory of one Jo Lupo. It was: _If _he, Zane Donovan, was in the _proximity_ of Chief Lupo or if something goes wrong (frequently both), _then_ she would a) taser his ass b) throw his ass in jail or c) all of the above.

This theory has been tested time and time again. Periodically! A week ago he could have sworn his theory was _empirically_ sound, but as of _late_ he is starting to question it and everything he _thought _he knew about Chief Lupo.

Jo.

Jo Jo.

He shakes his head.

One great mind, Albert Einstein, once said: _Insanity was doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results._ So what changed?

Chief-Head of GD Security-Lupo was going insane. Well actually in-_Zane_.

Bad Lupo!

Bad thoughts!

Jo could handle _Zane_ and this _reality_. But it was when she _left_ this _reality_ was the real _problem_. Lately her _dreams_ have been very _erotic_ and very very _inappropriate_. Nonetheless fulfilling an outlet she didn't know she had.

She wakes up frustrated for sure and even worst her _libido_ made it extremely awkward around him. Because it was okay to have her way with dream-Zane but reality-Zane with all his teasing and improper behavior was not (definitely not) invitation. Worst of all she was starting to lose bases in this _reality_.

Napping in the comforts of her office wasn't safe. Ever since the completion of the Sky Cruiser 2.0 (and any project he was put on when it is completed) he shows up unannounced like a kid looking for _attention_. 'Hey Jo Jo look at me. Look what I did!' It was cute at first. But now all his teasing only just riled her up and not in the angry sense. Combine with her very active _libido_ she was going crazy!

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Review?


	2. Don't Stand So Close To Me

Paring: anti Zoe/Zane, Jo/Zane (OTP!)  
Spoilers: Up to Stoned  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything. I wrote this 'cause tomorrow can't seem to arrive any faster! And I'm frustrated with my stats' homework.  
Summary: There should be benefits to dating the Sheriff's daughter and someone younger then you, right? So why do all the cons out weigh the pros?

* * *

There should be benefits to dating the Sheriff's daughter and someone younger then you, right? So why do all the cons out weigh the pros?

Zoe was a bright girl and it pissed Carter off to no end, but that was about it. No spark. Nothing to entice him. Keep him engaged. And definitely no spark. Intimacy was definitely a factor in any given relationship. And yet he couldn't bring himself to kiss her. On the mouth that is. In the past he would mock boys (cause that's what they were) who kisses their girlfriends on the cheek. Sure it was still early in their relationship, but a kiss on the lips seemed too immoral and illogical of him.

Whenever she did try to get close to him, intimate wise, he had this overwhelming feeling to keep her at arms lengths and possibly path her on the head. Sure they initially flirted with each other that time in the infirmary when he visited her after she was unpetrified. The only time he was remotely intimate after that was whenever Carter was around.

He understood Carter's discomfort to the whole situation but what the hell was Jo Lupo's problem anyway?

That woman had the worst case of PMS ever since Founders day. She took passive-aggressive to the extreme. Her visits continued at least he thinks they do. The ever present feeling of being watched was definitely still there. But when he turns around she was no where to be seen. Whenever he was within fifteen feet of her before he made even eye contact with her she would in a blink be in the opposite direction in another she was long gone. She was practically a ninja.

And whenever he went to the bunker to pick up or hang out with Zoe she was always locked up in her room. She couldn't do this to him. He was not going to be ignored dammit!

Plus weren't Zoe and Jo friends or something?

Just when he thinks he has all the pieces that is the Jo-Enforcer-Lupo puzzle she goes and does a complete one eighty and scatters all the pieces.

The whole Dr. Grant thing? There was definitely a conspiracy there even if the whole town was too blind to see it and he was going to be the one to unravel it.

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Review? ;D


	3. Jo is On the Job

Warnings: Spoilers up to the Ex-Files  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything. I wrote this because two effin' weeks is too long!  
Summary: A ring for a envelope hardly seems like a fair trade.

* * *

Paper never felt so heavy, as it did in the envelope in her hands did. She rotates the manila envelope and unfolds its crease, but could not for the life of her bring herself to open it.

She finally got _everything_ off her chest, so why was her chest constricting and hurting so much more? Jo sighs to herself.

"So are _we _going to save _me_ or what?" Jo looks up from her desk. Griping her armrest as her eyes widen at what she saw.

"C'mon _Jo Jo_ you're not going to leave me in there to rot are you?" Jo opens her mouth to reply, yet no sound came out.

"Am I here?" Zane rolls his eyes, "_Pfft_. Of course not! I'm in a holding cell being interrogated for a _crime _we both know I didn't commit."

"And FYI! I so do _complete you_ and we totally _fit_ together." And spun on his heel, "well you comin' or what?"

Solitary confinement, what was there to say about solitary confinement?

Oh. Yeah. It sucked.

_"Will you stop doing that?"_

Zane shakes his head to clear it.

_"Doing what? I just need to talk to you."_

_Well _he never thought he'd be back here again that's for sure. Not so soon and at the very least he should have at least done the _crime _if they were going to _charge_him with the _time _that's for sure. He began to pace his seven by seven feet foot cell, which was smaller then he was accustom too by the way.

_"OH what is it now? You want to tell me how nice my ass looks when I'm holding a gun?"_

Solitary confinement was _just _so solitary confinement-y.

_"Oh well. You do have a nice ass." _

As he paced back and forth the muscles in his leg rubbed against the metal band in his front pocket. He began to pace harder.  
_  
"Okay you wanna have it out?"_

Before the interrogation they searched him for any and all electronics on his person. They had used a portable x-ray/EMP device that he designed. Behold the _irony _of it all. Their search turned up empty and they let him keep the "non-high-tech thingy" in his pocket.

_"Okay the truth is I have been romanticizing our relationship this entire time. There was a reason why I hesitated. You and I?" She paused. "We don't fit." And pulls out the chain around her neck, "I'm over it. I'm over us . . ."_

Zane shakes himself to momentarily bring him back to reality. He needed to think of a way out.

_"What are you doing with my Grandmother's ring Jo?"_

He fingered the silver band in his pocket.

He needed to get out soon.

* * *

Look at me I'm branching out! And reviews could make me put up the next chapter, perhaps? Plus I'm kinda sad that the story alert list out weighs the amount of reviews I'm getting.

So review? pwease?


	4. Jo is On the Job Final Part

Just wanted to say you ALL rock! Thanks for all the reviews, alerts, and for the favorites!  
Warnings: Spoilers up to the Ex-Files  
Summary: What it all really came down to in the end was her insecurities. It was never about her compatibility with him.  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Now were are down to less than a week before the air of this season's season finally, so how is everyone holding up? I hope this helps.

"What you said earlier?" Jo stops walking; a far away look on her face. "I don't believe it and I know you don't either. So why'd you say it?"

Jo shakes her head and clears her throat. "I don't know."

"Well I think you do," _Zane_ cups her face and forces her to look at him, "besides you can't be rid of me that easily."

"You may not think we _fit _nor _complete _each other but I say we _compute _each other."

"What?" She tries to pull away but he holds her in place. He was a _hallucination _for Christ's sake. He shouldn't have this power over him at least not anymore.

_Zane_'s lit up, "Yeah. We're like two different _anomalies_ that come together and make something different."

"We make _water_." With her face still in his hands Jo shoots him a confused look.

"We're like H2O! I'm hydrogen 'cause you know there are two sides to me and you bring out the best in me. And you're explosive and sexy! Like oxygen; the air that I breathe. Sorry was that too cheesy?" He gives her a half smile.

"You do _us _an _injustice _for _romanticizing_ our relationship as you put it _straight out from a romance novel_." He brought her closer to his face. So close she could . . .

"Jo Our love is a _hell _of a lot more romantic than that."

She knows that her mind is hallucinating. The scent and his breath on her face weren't real, but that didn't stop her heart from racing and her mouth to go dry.

"So stop punishing yourself for what happened in a moment of hesitation. A moment of weakness 'cause you're better then that." He was doing it again bring up her _insecurities_. Attacking her _defenses_. Making her confront her _demons_.

"I can't. It's too-"

"Too Hard? Since when have you in your life done what was easy? Joining the Army Rangers? Living in Eureka? Falling in love with me?"

This isn't real. He's a hallucination. This isn't real. Jo repeats over and over again.

_Zane_ sighs releasing her. "Just because I'm not real does make what we've talked about any less real."

"Don't go." Jo hates how weak her voice sounds.

Crossing his arms he leans against the wall, "I'm not going anywhere. I'm still here."

He points at her heart. "And right through this door. You just gotta look hard enough."

* * *

Zane stops pacing and sits down on the cot that took up most of the space of his cell. Nothing made sense anymore. He was/still is confused on so many levels. And nothing rational and logical he thought up could explain any of it. And that scared him.

Chief Lupo, the Enforcer, no Jo hated his ass. That wasn't an opinion, a statement, or a hypothesis it was _fact_. She made that very clear on day one.

In the beginning he had hope that the _animosity_ between them would evolve into something more. But that was just a _fantasy_. A sick twisted fantasy and nothing more.

At first he blamed her for not giving him a chance and for Carter's so called _tip__. Take her to the __ballet_? He rolled his eyes. That only got him tased, pinned up against a wall, with an even huger gun pulled on him, and threaten under _no certain terms_ was he to ever reveal the s_ofter side_ of Ex-Deputy Lupo. A chance collision/_brunch_ on a _Sunday_ at Café Diem only seemed to fuel the _fantasy_.

But looking back now he knows it wasn't entirely her fault. He pushed her too far, flirted too much, and maybe it was because he was a _felon_. Or maybe he was never good _enough_ for her in the first place.

After that he had a _system_. Push her buttons more, rile her up, do, say _anything_ to get her to _react_, and get her to notice of him. It wasn't the best solution. She'd taser his ass for his troubles. And maybe he was a _masochist _because he kept coming back for more.

But it wasn't like he did much of anything to change her opinion about him. Sure he helped save the town a few times with Carter but did that amount to anything? No. They all saw and her included saw him as a _felon_ nothing more and nothing less. So he had his part to play: the village idiot, town prankster, man whore, and the list went on and on.

For the longest time no one came to his rescue. Not like anyone did before. But if anything, regardless, if he didn't do anything at all, if anything went wrong in Eureka he was his own _cavalry_. Then suddenly _Jo was on the job_; defending him, asking him to clear his name, letting him escape, etc. were all the things Chief Lupo, head of G-effin'-D Security, would never in a _trillion_ years do, least not him, not in his _universe_ anyway.

He stuck out his _neck_, complied all he could find, put it in a nice neat _envelope_, and where did that get him?

Zane runs his hand through his hair while the other clutched the ring in his palm.

Down the corridor a door opens with _distinct_ sound set of heels.

"Zane? We need to talk."

* * *

And that my readers is how you get rid of a hallucination and gain clarity (all that jazz). No offense to the writers but they were writing a half-ass job compared to Allison, Jack, and Fargo's _resolution _to the hallucination situation. Wouldn't you agree?

Did anyone like the Zane!Angst? I can't decided who I like to write more Angst!Zane or Hallucination!Zane.

And did I mention you reviewers ROCK the most yet? I'm ecstatic you guys are sharing your Jo/Zane troubles with me and that you are enjoying what I write. Don't stop now yeah? =]


	5. Heat Wave

Disclaimer: I don't own Eureka and just know I should not be writing this. I should be studying for music theory, so shame on me!  
Spoiler (generally) for the fourth season of Eureka.  
Rated: T for Tease!  
A/N: This was written because it was too damn HOT today. Hope you're having decent weather wherever you're at. Cheers!

Summary:

Jo: Ugh I hate this heat!  
Zane: I'm lovin' it!  
(From Maneater s02ep11)

* * *

The summer season has come and past in Eureka, Oregon. And was now well into the fall season. At least it should be. The only one who didn't get the memo was Mister Sun. In Jo's opinion there was always that one day in Eureka between after summer and the beginning of fall were the temperature was unreasonably _hot_. And oh how Jo Lupo disliked hot weather. There was just no way around it.

At least in cold weather or cooler temperatures one could wear layers of clothing and go seemingly unaffected by the weather. In hot weather it didn't matter how much _less_ you wore because you would still feel the heat. And although walking around naked has it's slightly cooler temperature like qualities Jo Lupo still has an once of propriety left _thank you very much_.

Jo reminisce the perks of her old job. Her deputy uniform came with the option of shorts and a tank where as her Head of GD Security _persona_ had power suits and wicked heels that were all very sexy but board lining very _unpractical_. They did wonders for the dress code of _professionalism_ but that was about it. But back to the subject of the weather. The worst of all the _heat_ was the fact that it was really getting to her. Her usually iron-solid attention span was failing her for once. Therefore, she has yet to complete any of her paper work for the day, or start any of her rounds around the labs.

This place was supposed to be the most advance and sophisticated corporation in the country and yet they couldn't invent a decent _air conditioning system_ at least one that _worked_. Now that would be _scientific breakthrough_. The irony of it all is lost on her as she fans herself with said paper work.

Jo is just the head of Security so what did she know. She looks up from her desk across her office to her door. It was closed. A light bulb of an idea went off and Jo has a sort of _Eureka _worthy moment. She was after all, _all alone_ in the comforts of her office. Most people went out of their way to avoid her, so it was very highly unlikely for someone to barge in on her in her office. And with one last precautionary glance around the room she unbuttons the hook and eye clasp of her dress pants. She slips out of them and tosses them across the room taking in the cool air on exposed skin brought on by her tiny black boy shorts. The fabric of which was skintight and did not go past mid-thigh but she was yet to show an inkling of caring as she continues to feels the rush of cool air. She contemplates taking off her heels but decides against the idea of walking barefoot around her office.

Already with one less article of clothing Jo could feel her body temperature become slightly cooler. Her hand moves to the top buttons of her blazer, but instantly stops at the last three buttons when she remembers/sees what she was wearing underneath. She groans aloud. This morning when she was getting ready for work all of her tanks and undershirts were in the wash, thinking none of it at the time she browed one of Zoe's. But the only shirt Zoe had to give her was strapless. Tube tops usually were. On Zoe the top itself may have covered her well enough but on Jo it only covered just a little past her midriff, for _obvious_ reasons. Her abdomen was so tone due to her life style and self-imposed training. But since Larry blew up her house combined with her work hours Jo hadn't the time to go shopping therefore the bra she had on now didn't properly support her. Her fingers linger over the last remaining buttons as she contemplated her next move.

"Well don't stop on my account." Jo looks up and freezes. There in her office was the last person (first if she was being honest with herself but _still_) she wanted to see. She fold her arms over the expose half of her blazer. Subconsciously during the process of her action her mind registers doing so was not the best thing she should have done. His eyes her hungrily and Jo takes that as a challenge, again not the best course of action. Stupid heat!

And what a sight Jo Lupo was according to Zane's vantage point. When he entered her office he stepped on her discarded pants but thought nothing of it at the time until he looked up at her. But Jo Lupo indecent? Blasphemy! But there was that one time when she came to work in a skirt. A pencil skirt! Possibly with a slit in the back that was indecently cut (decent if you asked around wink _wink_) but that part could be a rumor. Because that day just had to be the day he called in sick (more like played hooky) but the universe was obviously punishing him.

But what a sight Jo Lupo was now. Her arms were still folded over her chest, but did little to nothing to cover her up (in his opinion the image was better than any of his fantasies of looking down her shirt) with her ankles crossed on top of her desk. The woman was not wearing pants! He wanted to drool just at the sight of her perfectly sculpted legs in spiked heels. The sound of Lupo's heels were similar to ringing the _gong of enforcement_. But as of right now he was definitely appreciating them more so then she could ever imagine.

Was it his birthday? Jo clears her throat and brings him out of his thoughts, "Do you need something?"

'Yeah you!' God he hoped he didn't say that aloud. She continues to stare him down and he took that as a sign that he didn't. At least he thinks he didn't. 'Play it cool Donovan.'

"Yeah," he swallows because his throat was suddenly dry and he extends her the file in his hands. "Here are the safety protocols for . . ." he pauses because she has on a face of indifference as he says this. Awe hell no! Not when he was actually does his _damn_ job this time and without her bi-daily _visits _for the day. On a side note, before he visited her office he hacked into the GD air conditioning system and turned off them in her office when she didn't show up at his lab to pay him one of his daily visits. This actually turned out to the _best laid plans_ of _revenge_ he ever came up with. But he wasn't not going to be ignored _damn_ it!

As Jo makes a move to grab the file Zane pulls it out of reach at the very last second and stretches. His muscles contract and flex as he observes her eyes take in the expose line of flesh caused by his shirt riding up from _innocently _stretching. He smirks down at her as she glares at him. They stare each other down as the file was still out of her reach.

Suddenly in a flash Jo climbs on hands and knees over her glass desk and tackles Zane to the ground taking the file from him. She straddles him at the hip and bends down and whispers "mine" over his face. She now triumphantly smirks down on him with the file in her hand.

Feeling something poking her in the abdomen, Jo blinks, and finally registers the position the rather _compromising_ position they are in. But when she tries to get off him she finds that she can't. Both of his hand held her immobile and were delicately place on the expose flesh of her sides with his thumbs pushing up her shirt. The touch sends a shiver through the both of them. He takes this moment to grab the file in her hands and toss it across the room (possible where her pants were). The force of which send Jo hands falling on his chest.

The sexual tension was reaching its peak. She leans down with the full intention of telling him to let her go but stops midway when she feels hot bursts of air on her face.

Jo and Zane are breathing really hard as they continue to stare each other down.

Cool water pours over the two of them because somewhere in Global Dynamics a _tedious_ lab and rather _useless_ invention (or was it experiment? But who really cares?) combusts into flames causing the fire alarm to ring and all the building's sprinklers to go off.

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That's the end of Heat wave. Thanks for reading!

Kay thanks bye I gotta go study. =]


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